My angle on the Imposter Syndrome and Confidence

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗜𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗕𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗘 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗡𝗢𝗪?

“𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒆.”

The man whose answer you just read is my coaching client. To date, he has achieved more than most people his age. At 26, he joined a small group of business experts who created a company that became a known industry success. He is also a booming financial investor and runs a side business. And he is only in his mid-30s!

During our coaching discussions, I  challenged his thinking. By sharing my own experience, I asked him to look at the imposter syndrome and lack of confidence from a different angle. As he opened up to a new perspective, his world shifted.

“𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆”.

Here is the angle I offered…

IMPOSTER SYNDROME: “𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗱…”

I know the feeling very well. Over the years, I felt it every time I took on a new role or a challenging assignment. When I walked into my corner office for the first time, my first thought was… “What am I doing here? I will be found out any minute!”

Sounds familiar? Of course, it does!

Most of us, at one point or another, find ourselves outside of our comfort zone, and that’s when we may feel like frauds.

So, what should we do?

Here is the secret: DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!

This feeling indicates that you are doing something extraordinary, exciting, and new—playing a bigger game. Embrace the insecurity of the moment and keep playing! The feeling won't last, but be sure it will come back when you embark on something extraordinary once again. 

ACCEPT IT. EMBRACE IT. KEEP PLAYING. REPEAT.

CONFIDENCE: “𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀…”

We often think confidence is a prerequisite to the success of an endeavor, whatever it may be. If that’s our definition of confidence, it would be nearly impossible to start anything we haven’t done before or keep learning and advancing. Confidence actually is a RESULT and not a prerequisite. I learned this one the hard way.

When I first came to America, my English was limited to a few simple phrases, if that. Being acutely aware of my limitations, I was petrified, and for several months, I didn’t leave the house by myself to avoid speaking to people.

I didn’t have the confidence!

One day, I had no choice but to step outside my apartment and talk to someone on my own (it’s a great story, but for another time). I still didn’t have the confidence, but if I had waited any longer for it to grace me, we may not have had this conversation.

DON’T SEEK CONFIDENCE AS AN ENTRY POINT. Instead, become comfortable with yourself, put one foot in front of the other, and show up.

FULL ON. EVERY TIME. REPEAT. 

𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫:

- What is your single insight?

- How will you apply it?

- What is your biggest challenge right now?

Best. Galina