"Spring Forward" Reflection

Sunday, March 10th, at 2 AM, we leaped into the future, so to speak. Granted, it was only by one hour, but even so, this was a “back to the future” moment. Except, we couldn’t go back to change the past to create a different future like Michael J. Fox’s beloved character Marty McFly. We just didn’t have enough time. It was only one hour after all. I know some people who looked back on the missed hour of sleep with sadness (guilty, as charged!). Others tried their best to prepare by getting up an hour earlier the day before easing themselves into the new routine. And there were those utterly oblivious to the change, kids mainly, carrying on as if nothing happened. I know of four little munchkins, my darling grandchildren, who went to bed Sunday night according to the new clock and were fast asleep in no time. Their attitude supported the notion, “If you don’t do anything different, nothing will change,” which is exactly what their parents wanted in this case.

Spring forward and happy parents aside, we often want and need things in our lives to change, but they will not unless we do something different from what we were doing before. Why would they?

Deciding to do something you haven’t done before or stop doing something you’ve always done could be daunting. Taking action is often even more difficult, but what if you could see into the future and experience how life would be different if you made the change?

I hope you are still with me, and if so, let’s play. We will spring together into the future and see what we can see. How, you ask? Well, if I told you right now not to think of a red car, what would happen in your mind? Exactly! You would see a red car in all its glory. And if you could see a red car, you could play this game, so let’s start.

Think or envision a problem you want to tackle, something you are struggling to decide on. Don’t rush to the next step until you have the thought or vision right in front of you. Now, in your mind’s eye, leap to the future, say five years from now (or pick any number of years or months). Take a deep breath and read on.

Scenario 1 — What would your life look and feel like if you carried on like my grandkids during the “spring forward” day and did nothing different? Are you happy with where you are? Fulfilled? Satisfied? If the answer is YES, do nothing and carry on, just like the kids did.

If the answer is NO, go to Scenario 2.

Scenario 2—What would your life look and feel like if you did things differently? What did you do differently? Recount the steps you took to get to your future life. Got the steps? What’s the first one? Say it out loud and take that step now. You know where it leads, so there is no need to hesitate. You will be that much closer to the life you want.

Hope you followed along. And if you are still here, I’ll share a similar game I played with a coaching client a few months ago.

My client struggled to reconcile her desire to build a career with her desire to start a family. She wanted to have it all! As I listened, Mary (not her real name) passionately talked about what she did for a living and what she wanted to achieve. She loved her career but felt obligated to push it forward aggressively because of how much money and time she spent on her education. “I have to lean in,” she said, “that’s what I am expected to do. Otherwise, I would fall behind in my career progression.” Then Mary went on to talk about her dreams of starting a family. She and her husband wanted to have three kids. Her face lit up as she spoke of their future family, and her eyes sparkled. I understood her conflict; I could feel it. The complexity and emotions of these life-changing decisions felt natural to me. Having made those decisions myself, I could relate with empathy. But as a coach, my job wasn’t to give Mary advice on whether having a baby now or pushing forward her career is what she should do. That’s her decision. My job was to help her think through her choices in a way she may not have considered before.

So, to help Mary clarify her priorities, we played this game. I asked Mary to close her eyes and envision herself thirty years from now at a Thanksgiving table in her house. When she had the picture in her mind, I asked her specific questions about each person in the room: How do they relate to her? What are their ages? Who else is in the room? And what else does she see? I asked about the turkey, too. She said she made it.

Once Mary answered my questions, I guided her to the present moment. When she opened her eyes, they were filled with tears. A happy smile framed her face as she exclaimed, “I got it!” Mary decided what she needed to do based on the outcome she wanted and was able to envision through this simple game.

I don’t know when Mary will have kids or how she will approach her career, but by helping her spring forward into the future, I empowered her to get clear on the life she desired and enabled her to “experience” it in her mind. She figured out how to get there on her own.

Do you have a decision to make? Try this game and see how your desire for a specific outcome might influence your decision-making.

Happy Spring forward weekend!